FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Can I have dessert?
Yes, you can; I want to be one of these parents have children that do not even know there is such a thing as ice-cream, but sadly I’m not. As for adults, well a curse on all those who have the willpower to deprive themselves of this basic food group. I have to go with the ‘everything in moderation’ as they used to say back in the day.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Why has the loo roll run out again?
I wish I knew the answer to this one. I feel like I’m working against a corporate conspiracy, because no mater whether I buy the extra-long ultra-thick, or skinny but 100 rolls in a pack, it never – and I mean never – lasts until the next supermarket shop.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Why do my children always ask me questions when I’m obviously on the phone?
Because they are actually asking you questions ALL THE TIME it’s just more obvious when you are trying to talk to someone other than them.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Is it OK that I feel like having a gin and it’s only 10am?
Yes, it’s fine as long as you don’t actually have one. Unless you’re on holiday that is, in which case the rule is – there are no rules.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Why is it that I have to repeat myself constantly?
Because within the home your voice has become the equivalent of white noise, which can usually be effectively blocked out by those around you. Unless you’re offering them chocolate or a cup of tea, in which case they can suddenly hear exactly what you are saying.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
Is this website in anyway factual?
Yes, it is, however, to cover myself I will use the words of every true to life American crime thriller, that is OBVIOUSLY based on real life events: This in no way reflects real life events, people or places. Please do not consider suing or abusing me. Enjoy and thank you.