Help Me If You Can

Feeling seedy? You won’t be the first or the last…

Now a hangover may be something that is currently either a distant memory or a daily occurrence, depending on how long intense periods with your family are treating you. If I’m honest, my hangover tolerance has decreased rapidly, and whereas I once put them in the ‘shake it off’ bracket, I now sit firmly in the ‘what was I even thinking’ camp.

Hangovers, like childbirth, are a totally individual experience and you really can never guess at anyone else’s angst. What I have found though, is that mine have matured with me. And judging by those around me, I’m not the only one. A friend told me a few months ago, that her (relatively undeserved in the scheme of things) hangover after going to a concert, was so bad that while running to catch her train home the next day, she had such bad heart palpitations that her Fitbit flatlined. Luckily another friend who is a nurse was with her – but even she was a bit worried. Now while I laughed heartily at this story (they had been at a Take That concert after all, maybe it was just latent lust for Gary Barlow that had got the better of her), I could totally identify with the palpitations. Another friend of mine has very aptly termed this ‘the fear’. And he’s spot on with this description. I haven’t quite worked out if the perceived quickening of the heartbeat, is a physical symptom or simply brought on by the horror of mentally running over the behavior of the night before. The last whopper I had was so bad that I lay in bed for some time with what was pretty much a self-induced bout of anxiety as I analysed whether I had behaved totally inappropriately at a friend’s birthday party. On reflection I felt that trying to re-enact the final scene from Dirty Dancing where Baby flies through the air to be successfully caught and twirled in the air by Johnny, may have been a tad ambitious, however it had been a crowd pleaser in the moment.

Horrendous though this may sound (particularly if you have concerns for my modesty), there was a silver lining. Whilst I was wallowing the next morning in the less than pleasant aftereffects of the Bloody Mary, Gin, Bubbles and wine combo, I was presented with what I can only now consider to be the elixir of life. I was given an alkaline infusion mineral powder, added to water, which aims to restore the body’s pH balance. Containing Magnesium, calcium and potassium along with Vitamin C (and a few other tasty minerals) I think it’s usually used to boost the immune system. And whilst I can’t say with absolute certainty that it was this, rather than the fact that I have the constitution of an Ox, that returned me to relative normality, I am pretty sure that its ‘neutralising’ effect worked marvels on my banging head. So, if you too find that you’re feeling less than human, give it a whirl. It won’t assuage the visions of illicit behavior, but it might bring the zing back to the day.